Fluid Time: This is my first blog post in months. I did have grand plans to write during the lock down. I thought I will write almost every day now that I have time. But……..Time-seems like the most precious of all things now. When we …
Vegan January –Veganuary! The concept has become very popular among many of my friends specially those who are already vegetarians. I will be honest- I struggle to give up fish. Do I not believe eating or being or becoming vegetarian as good concept? I do …
when 5 year old is a teenager? Has it always been like this (basically I am
asking you know what right?). My 5 year dotty has the capacity to push that
button which freaks me out every time.
What is it with children trying to break that boundary? We had a meltdown moment yesterday. Don’t
know how it started but it ended with
her telling me ‘ I wish you were not my mum’ she doesn’t call me mum but
when she is angry she does use that term to increase the impact ( as if her
anger towards me was not enough, she had
to give a voice to it). Went I told her
that I was stepping out of her space so that she gets time to calm down and not
shout so that we can talk… rest of her anger came out.
You are always rude to me
do nothing for me
I am a child and I am 5 year old and you took
my TV away
You said you will break my teeth
You never cook for me
am better with bubu (her father) as he made pan cake for me today in the
as I write- now- after a day -I feel the pain. Not hers but mine. I know as a
mother I am to feel her pain and anger and anguish. But sorry I cannot put her
anger over my pain. Not yesterday or now as my type away. I went silent for whole day and her father
takes over. I needed time to think. I
was overwhelmed by her reaction ( to what I have no idea) and I did not know what to do. But as she
slept on my pillow curling up to my body holding my ears I told her
am not rude but I keep boundary as your mother and as adult. I seldom say no
but when I say no I mean it
live for you. But I do not know how to tell that to you so that you understood
took your TV away as you were unreasonable with us and you kicked and screamed.
You do still watch TV during weekend
said ‘ tappor diye dant phele debo’ when I was angry and I said sorry as it was
wrong of me to say that. I apologised to you
always cook for you. I am the only one who cooks. I plan the grocery, I plan
your whole week’s food, and I plan variety for your meal and I shop. I travel 4
hours in a day to earn money, I work during the weekend to earn money. I just
do not always have the time to warm up your food and give them to you.
I did not make those pan cake. I was cooking your lunch before your swimming at
9 and your play date after that and then pujo after that. All I was doing was
making sure you had something for lunch while your bubu was warning up the
pancake. I did give him hand in that as well.
And You are better off with your bubu! That hurts!
both were ‘not friends any more ‘ in the morning. I missed hugging her and she
cried again for her TV. Such as life I say to myself and walk away from
kitchen. I just compared my love with TV.
my lunch time I am planning her birthday.
But Friday night was different. Most nights and days are like this. We were in love . I am as she thinks her twin sister and married to her. We baked banana bread together from the leftover over ripped bananas. It came out amazing. I usually follow a BBC recipe, here is the link but I changed a bit to suit my measuring skills. This one is amazing with tea. You can add some pecan or walnuts to it too. you can eat in topped with more banana and homemade nutella
Heat oven to 180C if electric or 160C if fan assisted or gas mark 4
Butter a cake tin. I used loaf tin. Spread melted butter around the tin. Then dust with some flour.I have also lined the bottom of the tin with parchment paper
Beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy
Add one egg with the butter-sugar mix and beat. Then add another
Add the flour with the mixture little at a time. I added the flour over three folding. Add the cinnamon powder ( this is for a lovely warm aroma)
Mash the ripe banana and add to the egg-butter-sugar-flour mix. Fold the mixture with a spatula and make sure there is no lump and the mixture still has air in it. I used the hand held mixture and gave a quick mixing. But do not over mix as this will make the cake go flat and not rise.
Bake for about 30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean. Mine was done in about 35 mins but I over cooked a little to have a crust over which I like to eat
Cool in the tin for 10 mins, then remove to a wire rack
Serve with tea or/and hot chocolate and witness it to vanish in no time at all
You can add some banana chips on top
Also you can add pecan or walnut for banana walnut bread
Peace and happiness. These two words! They seem like my lifelong pursuit! No, they have not eluded me. I have just never learnt their meaning the way I do now. I guess age is not just a chronology after all. Age is the experience, the …
Durga Puja has already started in various places in UK. Last Sunday I had a food stall in one of the pujas in Basingstoke. This was my fifth year with them. Somehow over the years I have formed a bond with them which comes alive …